Posts Tagged ‘Single Men’
Online Overseas Dating and Gift Giving
Tim Zelmer asked:
While less than a generation ago very few people had even heard of it, today it is impossible for most people to even imagine a world without the Internet. The fact is that, with very few exceptions, the Internet touches (or has the potential to touch) virtually every facet of our lives and has become an irreplaceable tool which is used by both businesses and average people alike. In just a relatively few years, the Internet has opened up the globe and broken down the barriers that separated people creating both a global market and a global community. One of the more recent additions to this global community is the online overseas dating community.
It is no exaggeration to say that literally tens of millions of people across the globe are – or have been – involved in online dating. Whether the aim is to simply find a cyber-companion to wile away lonely hours with or to find that perfect someone to spend the rest of their life with, online dating and relationship building is a reality of the Internet that is growing rapidly and here to stay. To give just one example, Online Dating Magazine estimated in 2007 that over 20 million people visit at least one online dating site once a month and that over 120,000 marriages occur each year as a direct result of online dating.
One of the growing trends in the online dating world is international dating. No longer constrained by proximity or hampered by the extraordinary costs of overseas telephone calling, Internet dating has opened virtually the entire world up to single men and women looking for both online companionship and life partners. While virtually impossible just a few years ago, it is now almost commonplace for a woman in Paris to form a meaningful relationship with a man in Brazil, or for a man in Philadelphia to fall in love with a woman in Moscow. International online dating services are available which cater to every preference and combination imaginable and anyone interested in meeting people from a specific country can usually find what they are looking for with a simple Google search (i.e. Chinese Dating, Russian Dating, etc.).
As amazing and successful as the Internet has become at bringing people from different countries together, however, it does have its limitations. Communication is certainly simple, live streaming video and audio is commonplace – but it is still all directly connected to a computer. While this is certainly enough for some people, many others – particularly if an online relationship has progressed to a more serious stage – are looking to take things to a more tangible level. In most cases, just as with non-online relationships, this starts with gift giving. Whether for Valentine’s Day, Christmas, birthday, anniversary or “just because”, giving gifts is an essential part of building any relationship.
Whether dealing with something as simple as sending a dozen roses or giving a more complex, more expensive gift, international gift giving can be a very challenging thing for people who have never done it before. Though we constantly hear about how the world has “gotten smaller” in recent years, and how we are living in a time of “global community”, the distances between locations are the same as they ever were. It takes time for things to get from point A to point B, shipping costs vary greatly when shipping items internationally, tariffs and customs taxes may need to be considered, and some countries actually prohibit certain items being shipped internationally to their citizens. Here are a few things you will want to consider when you are planning on sending that certain someone overseas a gift.
* Buying Locally vs. Shipping Internationally – Though most of us have gotten used to the idea of shopping online, when it comes to gift giving this is not always the case. In many cases – particularly when it comes to giving gifts to those we are becoming romantically involved with – there is a lingering belief that for the gift to be personal we need to find it in a brick-and-mortar shop, hold it and wrap it ourselves, and send it off to the one we love. Romantic, to be sure – but not always practical. Let’s take our above example of the man in Philadelphia who has been dating a woman in Moscow online. Our gentleman wants to buy the woman a gift for her birthday, and has a budget of $200. Shopping at his local mall, he finds the perfect thing for her, buys it, wraps it, and takes it to UPS to ship it. The package weighs five pounds, and he wants to ship it as cheaply as possible. The good news is that, for most addresses in Moscow, delivery time will be 5 to 7 working days. The bad news is the cheapest he can get it there for will be $247.50 – over twice his original budget.
When it comes to international gift giving, unless you have an unlimited budget (and who really has that these days) it is usually better and certainly more cost effective for you to shop in the country in which the person you are shopping for resides online. The most effective way to do this is to simply ask the person you are involved with what local stores he or she prefers, and then do business with them directly (you will find a surprising number of stores all over the world have websites – most of them with an option for English). While this does tend to take the element of surprise out of your gift giving, it is a simple way to save both time and money.
* Shopping Through The Dating Service – For those who really want the element of surprise in their gift giving (or for those who have found a dating service that they trust completely) sending gifts using the service is a second, usually cost effective, option for international gift giving. The increase in the popularity of online dating has caused many of the international dating services to provide options for ordering flowers and gifts directly through the service – usually at a very nominal charge. These services will have established service contracts in the countries they serve with local merchants and florists. While in many cases the dating services may have a fairly limited selection of gifts they offer on their site, many people find that the security of dealing with a service they already have an established relationship with is worth putting up with the limited selection they may offer. Most services that offer gift giving options will deal directly with the merchants, and charge you through your account with them – eliminating the need for you to give your credit card information to anyone other than the service, who will in all likelihood have it already.
* Scams – Unfortunately, as is the case any time the Internet and money are involved, international gift givers must always be on the lookout for scams, and take whatever precautions they can to avoid them.
1. Patience – Though particularly when starting what could turn out to be a romantic relationship it is normal for most people to want to impress their partner with their generosity, it is advisable to wait for a while before you start giving gifts. Make certain that the person you are “dating” is really who you think they are (using sites which offer verified identities or live streaming video is an excellent way of doing this) and also make certain that they are not just in it for what they can get out of you. The only way you can even start to be certain of this second item is by giving the relationship time, and getting to know as much about your partner as you can. In most cases, scammers will not wait around very long to collect off you, so temper your natural generosity with patience.
2. Cash – Although there are times when cash can be a thoughtful and appreciated gift, it is best to avoid giving cash – at least at first – to international online dating partners. Should a gift of cash be specifically requested by someone you are interested in, red flags should go up immediately and you should consider finding someone else. Virtually all legitimate international online dating services strongly advise against giving cash gifts, and many ask that you report any members who ask for cash.
3. Verification – Even if you think that you can trust the dating service you are using, it is important that when purchasing gifts through either them or the services they utilize that there be some way for you to verify that the gift actually went to the person you were sending it to. This is simple enough to do on your own by simply asking the person you sent the gift to show you a picture of them holding it (or if you use webcam dating have them show it to you during a webcam session). If the individual to whom you sent a gift is either unable or unwilling to do this, it could be an indication of a scam – either on the part of the service or on the part of the person.
Gift giving is an important, and fun, part of any budding relationship – whether that relationship is with the boy next door or a girl halfway around the world. Particularly in the area of international gift giving, if you temper your natural generosity and passion with just a little common sense and caution, your perfect gift could help you on your way to the perfect international relationship.
While less than a generation ago very few people had even heard of it, today it is impossible for most people to even imagine a world without the Internet. The fact is that, with very few exceptions, the Internet touches (or has the potential to touch) virtually every facet of our lives and has become an irreplaceable tool which is used by both businesses and average people alike. In just a relatively few years, the Internet has opened up the globe and broken down the barriers that separated people creating both a global market and a global community. One of the more recent additions to this global community is the online overseas dating community.
It is no exaggeration to say that literally tens of millions of people across the globe are – or have been – involved in online dating. Whether the aim is to simply find a cyber-companion to wile away lonely hours with or to find that perfect someone to spend the rest of their life with, online dating and relationship building is a reality of the Internet that is growing rapidly and here to stay. To give just one example, Online Dating Magazine estimated in 2007 that over 20 million people visit at least one online dating site once a month and that over 120,000 marriages occur each year as a direct result of online dating.
One of the growing trends in the online dating world is international dating. No longer constrained by proximity or hampered by the extraordinary costs of overseas telephone calling, Internet dating has opened virtually the entire world up to single men and women looking for both online companionship and life partners. While virtually impossible just a few years ago, it is now almost commonplace for a woman in Paris to form a meaningful relationship with a man in Brazil, or for a man in Philadelphia to fall in love with a woman in Moscow. International online dating services are available which cater to every preference and combination imaginable and anyone interested in meeting people from a specific country can usually find what they are looking for with a simple Google search (i.e. Chinese Dating, Russian Dating, etc.).
As amazing and successful as the Internet has become at bringing people from different countries together, however, it does have its limitations. Communication is certainly simple, live streaming video and audio is commonplace – but it is still all directly connected to a computer. While this is certainly enough for some people, many others – particularly if an online relationship has progressed to a more serious stage – are looking to take things to a more tangible level. In most cases, just as with non-online relationships, this starts with gift giving. Whether for Valentine’s Day, Christmas, birthday, anniversary or “just because”, giving gifts is an essential part of building any relationship.
Whether dealing with something as simple as sending a dozen roses or giving a more complex, more expensive gift, international gift giving can be a very challenging thing for people who have never done it before. Though we constantly hear about how the world has “gotten smaller” in recent years, and how we are living in a time of “global community”, the distances between locations are the same as they ever were. It takes time for things to get from point A to point B, shipping costs vary greatly when shipping items internationally, tariffs and customs taxes may need to be considered, and some countries actually prohibit certain items being shipped internationally to their citizens. Here are a few things you will want to consider when you are planning on sending that certain someone overseas a gift.
* Buying Locally vs. Shipping Internationally – Though most of us have gotten used to the idea of shopping online, when it comes to gift giving this is not always the case. In many cases – particularly when it comes to giving gifts to those we are becoming romantically involved with – there is a lingering belief that for the gift to be personal we need to find it in a brick-and-mortar shop, hold it and wrap it ourselves, and send it off to the one we love. Romantic, to be sure – but not always practical. Let’s take our above example of the man in Philadelphia who has been dating a woman in Moscow online. Our gentleman wants to buy the woman a gift for her birthday, and has a budget of $200. Shopping at his local mall, he finds the perfect thing for her, buys it, wraps it, and takes it to UPS to ship it. The package weighs five pounds, and he wants to ship it as cheaply as possible. The good news is that, for most addresses in Moscow, delivery time will be 5 to 7 working days. The bad news is the cheapest he can get it there for will be $247.50 – over twice his original budget.
When it comes to international gift giving, unless you have an unlimited budget (and who really has that these days) it is usually better and certainly more cost effective for you to shop in the country in which the person you are shopping for resides online. The most effective way to do this is to simply ask the person you are involved with what local stores he or she prefers, and then do business with them directly (you will find a surprising number of stores all over the world have websites – most of them with an option for English). While this does tend to take the element of surprise out of your gift giving, it is a simple way to save both time and money.
* Shopping Through The Dating Service – For those who really want the element of surprise in their gift giving (or for those who have found a dating service that they trust completely) sending gifts using the service is a second, usually cost effective, option for international gift giving. The increase in the popularity of online dating has caused many of the international dating services to provide options for ordering flowers and gifts directly through the service – usually at a very nominal charge. These services will have established service contracts in the countries they serve with local merchants and florists. While in many cases the dating services may have a fairly limited selection of gifts they offer on their site, many people find that the security of dealing with a service they already have an established relationship with is worth putting up with the limited selection they may offer. Most services that offer gift giving options will deal directly with the merchants, and charge you through your account with them – eliminating the need for you to give your credit card information to anyone other than the service, who will in all likelihood have it already.
* Scams – Unfortunately, as is the case any time the Internet and money are involved, international gift givers must always be on the lookout for scams, and take whatever precautions they can to avoid them.
1. Patience – Though particularly when starting what could turn out to be a romantic relationship it is normal for most people to want to impress their partner with their generosity, it is advisable to wait for a while before you start giving gifts. Make certain that the person you are “dating” is really who you think they are (using sites which offer verified identities or live streaming video is an excellent way of doing this) and also make certain that they are not just in it for what they can get out of you. The only way you can even start to be certain of this second item is by giving the relationship time, and getting to know as much about your partner as you can. In most cases, scammers will not wait around very long to collect off you, so temper your natural generosity with patience.
2. Cash – Although there are times when cash can be a thoughtful and appreciated gift, it is best to avoid giving cash – at least at first – to international online dating partners. Should a gift of cash be specifically requested by someone you are interested in, red flags should go up immediately and you should consider finding someone else. Virtually all legitimate international online dating services strongly advise against giving cash gifts, and many ask that you report any members who ask for cash.
3. Verification – Even if you think that you can trust the dating service you are using, it is important that when purchasing gifts through either them or the services they utilize that there be some way for you to verify that the gift actually went to the person you were sending it to. This is simple enough to do on your own by simply asking the person you sent the gift to show you a picture of them holding it (or if you use webcam dating have them show it to you during a webcam session). If the individual to whom you sent a gift is either unable or unwilling to do this, it could be an indication of a scam – either on the part of the service or on the part of the person.
Gift giving is an important, and fun, part of any budding relationship – whether that relationship is with the boy next door or a girl halfway around the world. Particularly in the area of international gift giving, if you temper your natural generosity and passion with just a little common sense and caution, your perfect gift could help you on your way to the perfect international relationship.
International Online Dating: Different Cultures, Different Challenges
Tim Zelmer asked:
There was a time when the largest determining factor in any romantic relationship was proximity. The girl next door, down the street or on the other side of town was pretty much the extent of the options available for most single men. As travel became easier – and more necessary for work – after the Second World War, the field broadened and people from different states and even different countries began getting together. Still, however, proximity was the overriding factor in the vast majority of relationships. Letters and the occasional telephone call were all well and good, but it was difficult to sustain a relationship when there was only at best sporadic contact and no visual contact at all.
All of that changed, however, with the advent of the Internet, and the various ancillary technologies that have grown with it – such as voice communication, instant messaging and webcams. Communication with people on the other side of the country – or the other side of the world – is now not only possible, but commonplace. With the explosion of the information age and the openness and ease of communications afforded by the Internet, international online dating has become a multi-billion dollar a year industry, with millions of men and women participating in it. Women in Greece are now enjoying the time they spend online with men in Ottawa, and men in St. Louis are forging meaningful and rewarding relationships with women in the Ukraine.
As with any other form of romantic relationship building, international dating brings with it new and, in some cases, unfamiliar challenges. While it is true that people all over the world share common needs and desires, people from different cultures possess different customs and belief systems and, in some cases, process information differently. Assuming, for instance, that forging a relationship with a woman in Moscow is going to be exactly the same as charming a girl from Cleveland is probably not going to work out terribly well. Below are a few things to keep in mind as you hit the international online dating scene.
• Language Differences: Obviously if you find yourself an online dating interest from an English speaking country (assuming, of course, that your primary language is English) then this shouldn’t be an issue, but what about if your interest – to use our above example – is a woman in Moscow? Basically, most people who look into international online dating will be able to speak English at some level, but their proficiency with the language will vary greatly. The key to meaningful communication is to make certain that, until you are sure of how well a woman understands English, you keep things fairly basic. Avoid using long, complex words or sentences to express your thoughts to begin with, because there is every chance that if you don’t you will spend as much time explaining yourself as you will getting to know the woman. Be patient, and be prepared to explain what you mean when asked – and also be prepared to help her ‘find the right words’. Open communication and clear dialogue is essential to building any romantic relationship online.
One thing you should always avoid at first is “text speak”, until you are very comfortable with the woman you are communicating with. “LOL, “BRB” “BBIAB” and other such examples are certainly common enough in the states, but unless the woman you are communicating with is familiar with them, they will seem like gibberish – and could even serve to lower her first (or second, or third) impression of you. Additionally, you will want to keep your use of slang to a minimum at first. If the woman has only remedial or even intermediate English skills, she is likely not to have mastered even frequently used slang terms as yet.
• Humor: One aspect of a man’s personality that survey after survey indicates is extremely attractive to women is his sense of humor. The ability to make a woman laugh is important to not only getting any relationship off on the right foot, but also to building the relationship and moving it forward. In the world of international online dating, humor is a necessary component of forging a mutually satisfying relationship – but the rules are a little different. In order for you to make your international dream-girl laugh, she is going to have to get the joke, and actually find it funny.
Part of the concern here harkens back to the language challenges mentioned earlier. Jokes or quips that rely heavily on double entendre or word play – i.e. “Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas, what he was doing in my pajamas I’ll never know” – will only work with your online partner if she has sufficient English skills to appreciate them. Another area to avoid – at least at first – is humor that is heavily dependent on sarcasm. Not only can sarcasm be very challenging to someone with limited English skills, but it simply doesn’t translate very well to the instant message and/or chat room medium. Generally, it is better to avoid using it until your relationship has progressed to the talking and/or streaming live video stage.
• Time Zones and scheduling: Of course, if you are considering international online dating you are probably going to realize that time differences will exist between you and your partner. However, along with realizing that the difference in time is there, it is important that you keep in mind what these differences mean in terms of your relationship. For instance, returning to the example of our woman in Moscow, if you are in New York City (Eastern Time Zone) then when you get home from work at 5:00 and sign online, it will be 1:00 AM at your online girl friend’s place! Conversely, if you want to have a chat with her just before you go to bed, the odds are that she will have just awakened and be rushing around (as we all do) to get ready for work.
One of the keys to international online dating is scheduling time with a woman you are interested in, and then remaining on that schedule if at all possible. This will require a bit of give and take on both your parts – staying up a little later, getting up a little earlier or blocking out lots of time on the weekends. Remember to be considerate of her time, if you expect her to be considerate of yours!
• International Online Dating services: While there are many ways to meet women from other countries online, many busy people (both male and female) choose to use online dating services to make their initial connections. While virtually all of these services charge their customers fees, some studies indicate that not only does using services of this type decrease the time it takes to meet a person you are interested in, but also increases the likelihood that your online relationship will progress into something special and fulfilling. When looking for an international online dating service, make certain that their website is secure, and verified by independent agencies (McAfee, GoDaddy, etc) as being safe. Make certain that they list their fees upfront, and make certain that they offer everything you are looking for (private chats, streaming video chats, etc) before you sign up. Just like anything else, when you are shopping for an international online dating service, make certain you read the fine print.
International online dating can be a very fun and rewarding experience – and there is no reason not to think that if you lucky, you might actually meet the woman of your dreams. But as with anything else in life that is new and different, it is important to understand some of the basics before getting into it. By following a few simple rules, and making certain that you communicate in a clear and considerate manner, who knows … the perfect woman might actually be in Moscow, and yet only as far away as your laptop!
There was a time when the largest determining factor in any romantic relationship was proximity. The girl next door, down the street or on the other side of town was pretty much the extent of the options available for most single men. As travel became easier – and more necessary for work – after the Second World War, the field broadened and people from different states and even different countries began getting together. Still, however, proximity was the overriding factor in the vast majority of relationships. Letters and the occasional telephone call were all well and good, but it was difficult to sustain a relationship when there was only at best sporadic contact and no visual contact at all.
All of that changed, however, with the advent of the Internet, and the various ancillary technologies that have grown with it – such as voice communication, instant messaging and webcams. Communication with people on the other side of the country – or the other side of the world – is now not only possible, but commonplace. With the explosion of the information age and the openness and ease of communications afforded by the Internet, international online dating has become a multi-billion dollar a year industry, with millions of men and women participating in it. Women in Greece are now enjoying the time they spend online with men in Ottawa, and men in St. Louis are forging meaningful and rewarding relationships with women in the Ukraine.
As with any other form of romantic relationship building, international dating brings with it new and, in some cases, unfamiliar challenges. While it is true that people all over the world share common needs and desires, people from different cultures possess different customs and belief systems and, in some cases, process information differently. Assuming, for instance, that forging a relationship with a woman in Moscow is going to be exactly the same as charming a girl from Cleveland is probably not going to work out terribly well. Below are a few things to keep in mind as you hit the international online dating scene.
• Language Differences: Obviously if you find yourself an online dating interest from an English speaking country (assuming, of course, that your primary language is English) then this shouldn’t be an issue, but what about if your interest – to use our above example – is a woman in Moscow? Basically, most people who look into international online dating will be able to speak English at some level, but their proficiency with the language will vary greatly. The key to meaningful communication is to make certain that, until you are sure of how well a woman understands English, you keep things fairly basic. Avoid using long, complex words or sentences to express your thoughts to begin with, because there is every chance that if you don’t you will spend as much time explaining yourself as you will getting to know the woman. Be patient, and be prepared to explain what you mean when asked – and also be prepared to help her ‘find the right words’. Open communication and clear dialogue is essential to building any romantic relationship online.
One thing you should always avoid at first is “text speak”, until you are very comfortable with the woman you are communicating with. “LOL, “BRB” “BBIAB” and other such examples are certainly common enough in the states, but unless the woman you are communicating with is familiar with them, they will seem like gibberish – and could even serve to lower her first (or second, or third) impression of you. Additionally, you will want to keep your use of slang to a minimum at first. If the woman has only remedial or even intermediate English skills, she is likely not to have mastered even frequently used slang terms as yet.
• Humor: One aspect of a man’s personality that survey after survey indicates is extremely attractive to women is his sense of humor. The ability to make a woman laugh is important to not only getting any relationship off on the right foot, but also to building the relationship and moving it forward. In the world of international online dating, humor is a necessary component of forging a mutually satisfying relationship – but the rules are a little different. In order for you to make your international dream-girl laugh, she is going to have to get the joke, and actually find it funny.
Part of the concern here harkens back to the language challenges mentioned earlier. Jokes or quips that rely heavily on double entendre or word play – i.e. “Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas, what he was doing in my pajamas I’ll never know” – will only work with your online partner if she has sufficient English skills to appreciate them. Another area to avoid – at least at first – is humor that is heavily dependent on sarcasm. Not only can sarcasm be very challenging to someone with limited English skills, but it simply doesn’t translate very well to the instant message and/or chat room medium. Generally, it is better to avoid using it until your relationship has progressed to the talking and/or streaming live video stage.
• Time Zones and scheduling: Of course, if you are considering international online dating you are probably going to realize that time differences will exist between you and your partner. However, along with realizing that the difference in time is there, it is important that you keep in mind what these differences mean in terms of your relationship. For instance, returning to the example of our woman in Moscow, if you are in New York City (Eastern Time Zone) then when you get home from work at 5:00 and sign online, it will be 1:00 AM at your online girl friend’s place! Conversely, if you want to have a chat with her just before you go to bed, the odds are that she will have just awakened and be rushing around (as we all do) to get ready for work.
One of the keys to international online dating is scheduling time with a woman you are interested in, and then remaining on that schedule if at all possible. This will require a bit of give and take on both your parts – staying up a little later, getting up a little earlier or blocking out lots of time on the weekends. Remember to be considerate of her time, if you expect her to be considerate of yours!
• International Online Dating services: While there are many ways to meet women from other countries online, many busy people (both male and female) choose to use online dating services to make their initial connections. While virtually all of these services charge their customers fees, some studies indicate that not only does using services of this type decrease the time it takes to meet a person you are interested in, but also increases the likelihood that your online relationship will progress into something special and fulfilling. When looking for an international online dating service, make certain that their website is secure, and verified by independent agencies (McAfee, GoDaddy, etc) as being safe. Make certain that they list their fees upfront, and make certain that they offer everything you are looking for (private chats, streaming video chats, etc) before you sign up. Just like anything else, when you are shopping for an international online dating service, make certain you read the fine print.
International online dating can be a very fun and rewarding experience – and there is no reason not to think that if you lucky, you might actually meet the woman of your dreams. But as with anything else in life that is new and different, it is important to understand some of the basics before getting into it. By following a few simple rules, and making certain that you communicate in a clear and considerate manner, who knows … the perfect woman might actually be in Moscow, and yet only as far away as your laptop!