Posts Tagged ‘Online Scams’

Filipina Lady Dating — Online Dating Scams

Written by admin on February 8th, 2010. Posted in Dating

Filipina Eyes asked:


As a online dating webmasters, I get emails asking me how to detect a scammer. It is tough. When a member joins a site, they don’t put in their profile, “hey, I’m joining so I can try to scam money from other members”. Only after they try to commit the scamming deed do we know their true intentions. When that happens, it should be reported to the webmaster.

The following list was my guideline when looking for online dating love. Each person’s judgment varies and ultimately are responsible for their own decisions. The following has no guarantees, but if it works for you so be it.

1. Don’t send money to a person you are getting to know. During the getting to know each other stages, money should not be a topic. My wife never asked me for a dime during our courtship. Only after time invested in getting to know each other and marriage was discussed did we talk about expenses. Major financial decisions should be reserved for when the relationship is beyond the get to know each other stage and is heading for marriage. Only you can decide when that is.

2. Time is your ally. Most scammers do not like to exchange a lot of emails when their main objective is to get money. They want to get as much money in the short amount of time they can. In other words, they usually are not into long courtships, not unless that courtship includes you sending money on a regular basis.

3. Template letters or emails is usually a sign. If an email seems like it could of been copied and pasted to send to anyone, a red flag should be waving in front of your eyes. If they are not at least addressing some identifiable information about you when replying to your email, be careful.

4. Chatting — this is not the case for all, but I have to address it. Most scammers want to get you in an intimate conversation as soon as possible. They love to invite you to chat knowing they can pull at your heart strings in real time and learn if you are a mark or not. Personally, I would want to exchange several emails and even letters before chatting. There may be one exception to this, but I would still limit my time. If I suspected the person’s photo may not be who they say they are, I would want to chat with a webcam, but only do so for 5 or 10 minutes. Again, I’d rather invest time to getting to know each other by email or letter and if the other person is interested in you, they will also want to equally invest their time.

5. Endearments — why would anyone be calling another person, honey, sweetheart, lover, etc, within a few emails or within a short amount of time? First, it is disrespectful. When I was courting my wife and if I would of called her sweetheart after only a few emails she would of walked away. She doesn’t care for that type of arrogance and would take it as an insult to the Filipino culture. Respectful Filipina ladies are aware of the stereotypes and any man who tries to exploit another lady based on misguided cultural believes is not a gentleman. The same goes for ladies. If they are calling you honey, sweetie, etc, within a few emails or while chatting early in a relationship, I would be careful. It is not appropriate or the right time. If you are calling someone sweetheart early on in a relationship and they happen to be a scammer, you just made their job easier. Use words that is appropriate for the relationship stage you are involved in out of respect for their culture and to protect yourself from being a mark for a scammer.

The above is not all inclusive, but may help those who need some guidance. With that said, there are no definitive rules when it comes to love or courtship. Ultimately, common sense needs to prevail and only you can decide what is and what is not appropriate for you. With that said, I still say: don’t fall for any story that sounds too good to be true, don’t send money during the get to know each other stage of a relationship (unless the expense is minor and you decide it is not a financial burden) and let time be your friend. If red flags go off but you are not sure, at least slow down, take your time and get to know each other.

I remember watching a 60 minute show about a guy who was being scammed. He lost everything, even his house. Whatever the girl wanted, he bought. Unlike some, I did not feel sorry for the guy. I sat in wonderment thinking how he could be so stupid. Maybe he could falter one time, but to continue to send money to a lady he never met was financial suicide. He was desperate for love. A recipe for disaster. If you are this desperate for love and your judgment is that poor, do yourself a favor and don’t look for love on the internet.

Where are scammers? — E V E R Y W H E R E. They are on yahoo, youtube, myspace, online dating sites, etc. Even the big boys, like youtube (owned by google), can’t stop them. Instead they ask that members report when a person uses their site inappropriately. On Filipina Lady I ask the same. Any dating site who says they never had a scammer is probably lying or they are super unaware. There are times that members will not report a scammer from embarrassment. It is better to report them. On my site I do ask that you provide some evidence of scamming. I have had people falsely report someone for scamming because they were rejected by that person.

Finding love should not be a fast food mentality. It took me and my wife almost a year before we knew that it was meant to be. Oh sure, my hormones was in high gear, but I knew that true love was about commitment, time and a lifetime of happiness. For me, it worked. Whatever time table you are on may not be the same as mine, but if you think you are in love within a few emails and a couple of chats, you may want to step back and assess your judgment. For me, years later, I’m more in love with my wife than I ever was. I wake up every morning knowing I’m with someone who loves me for me. No doubts, no questions – the love and respect is mutual and will last a lifetime.

Good luck and happy holidays to all.



Foreign Dating – Vigilance is the Key to Avoid Being Scammed

Written by admin on June 27th, 2009. Posted in Relationships

Stacey Zimmerman asked:


Finding love online could be both exciting and painful. Exciting, if you ultimately find true love; and painful, if you are scammed by unscrupulous players looking to rip off the gullible lonely hearts, like you. Sadly, there are several scamsters lurking in the wild horizons of cyberspace trying to lure their victims on the online dating websites, and in the midst of all these dangers, often, the sufferers are the genuine lovers trying to find true love on the Internet.

Online dating scams are a reality and you would do well to accept this at the earliest and avoid falling in the traps carefully laid by the scamsters. The one thing you require to keep these scamsters away is ‘diligence’ in whatever you are doing online.

The most common mistake that we commit while trying to find love online is blind faith on the person at the other end. Remember, you can’t see or talk to the person at the other end until he or she allows you to. And in the absence of this permission, the only thing you can do is text-chat. And this is the place where you need to show extra caution, or shall I say ‘diligence’. While chatting with a person on a dating site, never reveal anything about yourself that you won’t tell a stranger in the offline world. In other words, don’t treat online environment as too different while you are having a chat. Remember, the other person is a stranger until you have met, talked to, and developed sufficient understanding with, each other.

So, the first rule is simply not to reveal personal and private information to the other person until there is a strong bonding between both of you and you have agreed to take your relationship to the next level. This information may include your address, your official address, any other contact details, name and contact details of your friends, etc. And always remember not to reveal your financial secrets, bank account numbers, online passwords, etc. till the time you are married and have sufficient trust on each other.

The second diligent thing you can do is simply gloss over the profile of the person you are about to chat with. If you are a man looking for a woman, try to stay away from profiles of girls reflecting sex all over their profile. For instance, they may have a sexy username, like sexy_girl_18, or late_night_sexy_girl, etc. And if you are a girl looking for a man, simply stay from profiles of men showing off their physical attributes. For instance, they may have a username like handsome_hulk, tall_dark_handsome, etc. Also watch out for the inviting photographs accompanying the profile. In most cases, the pictures are fake.

Such kind of online behavior can either be immature or a well-laid out trap to lure the gullible users of the site. And neither is desired when you are looking for a serious online dating relationship with a potential life partner.